Pursuing wisdom finding and fearing God: A love story in the making. My personal pursuit of wisdom started at a late age. I was twenty two years old stationed at Joint Maritime Facility/ Royal Airforce St. Mawgan, United Kingdom in the US Navy. It was there that I came to the Jewish faith. My personal heroes back then and now of the Hebrew Scriptures are: Moses: The Law giver and author of the Torah or the 5 books of Moses. King David: A man after God’s own heart. King Solomon: The wisest man who ever lived. Prophet Elijah: A man of Great Spirit. Judge Samson: A man of great strength. Patriarch Jacob (Israel): The man who wrestled with Phenuel (The Face of God). For I have seen God face to face and he allowed me to live. Like Patriarch Jacob (Israel) I am always wrestling with the Creator. Never letting go until He blesses me with the wisdom of King Solomon, The Heart of King David, The Spirit of the Prophet Elijah, and The Understanding of the Torah from the Giver of the Law: Moses. I also want the strength of Judge Samson and the strength of the Patriarch Jacob (Israel) and let me not forget the Prophet Enoch who walked with God. Lastly, I pray that God blesses me with the obedience of the Patriarch Abraham and Noah. I praise the Creator daily for these specific blessings and I refuse to let go of Him until I receive these blessings. All these great Men of God listed especially King Solomon: The wisest person who ever lived affect my life back then and even to this day. Right now I want to focus on King Solomon for it is King Solomon’s writings that set me on my path 21 years ago. It is this king who wrote Proverbs, Song of Songs, and The Book of Psalms along with his father King David, and most likely the author of Ecclesiastes. This wise king stated: “Nothing is greater than wisdom and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” This statement has been a driving force of my life 21 years ago to this moment right now. I know this is a lot to take in. In fact, it is borderline insane or as my mom would say “It’s bat crap crazy.” I have to admit I have never been, or at least in my mind a sane man since I was 22 years old almost 21 years ago. Between pursing the Wisdom of Solomon, Seeking and fearing God has been the focus of my life. The story of my live and it is still what’s always on my mind before I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning. This is all true stories a real love story in the making. While stationed in England, I made a promise to myself that I would save up my money and travel to the 2 most Holiest places in the world. First stop, Ethiopia’s Church of St. Mary to walk with the Ark of the Covenant (God’s Footstool). Second stop, Jerusalem to pray at the Temple Mount. This was to be a trip of a lifetime. My personal pilgrimage. At the time, this seemed like a crazy dream which came true. After serving in England for 2 years, I requested Submarine Duty and was sent off to Groton, Connecticut for Submarine School. After over a year of schooling I was assigned to the USS Texas in Newport News, Virginia. I quickly excelled in the Submarine Building stages all because I kept God first and was actively pursuing wisdom. Remember, nothing is greater than wisdom. At this time, I thought I was living the best years of my life. I had lots of money, a truck, a luxurious apartment in Newport News, and I was soon on my way of living my dream career as a Test Engineer at Northrup Grumman Newport News, Virginia. Like King Solomon, God gave me everything I dreamt of and so much more. I was on fire. This worried my mother greatly. Mom always said “If you don’t slow down the Lord will find a way to make you stop and smell the roses.” Like a dummy I paid no heed to my mother’s warning. I was working a minimum of 15 hours a day plus 24 hour duty every 3 days. I just kept reassuring my mom that she worried too much and the God wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle. Besides, I was making a lot of money doing what I loved and saved every last cent to fund my pilgrimage to the Holy Land. My mother remembers me telling her about my trip ever since I was stationed in England. She didn’t take me seriously back then. One day my mother’s warning came true. I herniated a disc in my lower back and never fully recovered from that injury. I spent 2 years at Naval Station Norfolk, Virginia on limited duty. The Navy doctors gave me 2 years to rehabilitate, but I never fully recovered from my injuries. I received an Honorable Discharge from the Navy in May of 2007. From that point forward, I was angry at God for taking away the job I enjoyed the most and that was ship building. I still love the Creator even though He took away my health and livelihood. I still have a hard time figuring out if I was angry at God or myself. At that time, I still wanted to become an engineer. With my signed DD-214’s and my Honorable Discharge in my hand I packed my belongings and headed to Indianapolis, Indiana to attend ITT Technical Institute for their Bachelors of Science in Industrial Automation Engineering Technology degree. I worked really hard at ITT and got decent grades. No matter how much my back bothered me and no matter how many prescription medications I was on I still made it to class every night. I always had perfect attendance no matter what was going on in my life. I was in a lot of physical pain way back when and on top of that I was slowly losing my mind. In 2008 while I was finishing up my Associates Degree course work in Computer Electronics Engineering Technology. The instructors at ITT Tech started noticing big changes in my personality. So did the doctors at the Roudebush Veteran’s Hospital in Indianapolis. I started have nightmares and daytime terrors about Angels and Demons. I was hearing voices regarding Angels and Demons. I guess they were waiting to see which side I was on. Was I working for the Accuser (Satan) or was I on God side. I always thought everything I ever did and will do is for the Glory of God. Doctors just brushed it off as a Spiritual Experience or Spiritual Schizophrenia (if there is such a thing as spiritual schizophrenia). This battle I was experiencing went on from 2008 to 2010. Everyone at school thought I was bat crap crazy, because I wore magical amulets taken from the Books of King Solomon. I told my teachers and fellow students I was protecting myself from evil spirits. Besides, my doctors did not mind me wearing Solomon’s Seals and Sigils. My instructors tried to convince me to stop school until I got my head on straight. I took no heed to their warning. I kept on attending classes. I started noticing gradual changes in the way that I thought. My thought patterns were irrational. Everyone knew it including me. I was offered psychiatric medications but respectfully refused because I was on so many medications at the time. Boy was I wrong yet again. Students and staff at ITT and doctors at the VA Hospital had a hard time understanding me. I was gradually losing my mind but I still trusted in God and praised Him every day. In 2010, I graduated ITT Tech with my Bachelor’s Degree in Industrial Automation Engineering Technology. My final GPA is 3.72. My instructors told me that I was lucky to receive that because they all felt that they had to carry me through school and they all wished me the best of luck in all my endeavors. I felt like a failure ever since then. I was unable to work because of severe back pain and I felt that I was slipping further and further into insanity. At that time, I wanted to attend IUPUI to obtain a Master’s Degree in Engineering Technology, but the VA doctors and I agreed to put my education ambitions on hold for a while until my back and my mind heal. This was never meant to be. My back and my mental health worsened over the years. Between 2010 and 2012 I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder with Acute Depression. I did not take the diagnosis seriously. As my mom would say “I was in denial.” Even though God took away my sanity like King Solomon and my livelihood like the Prophet Job. I still Loved God and I was a bit angry at Him. I still read every book attributed to King Solomon. I still believe that: “Nothing is greater is greater than wisdom and the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” I admit I did not Revere God and that’s my biggest problem even to this day. I am mad at God more than I fear Him. The year of 2012 was one Hell of a year for me and for the rest of the world as well. So sorry, I shouldn’t be speaking for everyone but that particular year was a scary year for me. I also admit I was an End of Days nut job. I will always remember this date December 21, 2012 The End of the Mayan Calendar not necessarily the End of Days or the beginning of the End of Days. I still believe I am living in the End Times because the Late Great Sir Isaac Newton predicted that the world will come to an end in the year 2060. Sorry that’s my Schizoaffective Disorder kicking in. I shouldn’t be worried about such things. I have learned to let go and let God as my mom would say. Anyway, back to my love story in the making. In the summer of 2012, I decided to make my spiritual pilgrimage to Ethiopia and Jerusalem. I strongly believed at the time, that the world was going to end on December 21, 2012 and I wanted to be in Jerusalem when it ended. So there I was selling everything I had of value to fund this one way crazy adventure. I had $15,000 dollars total. I bought a one way flight from Indianapolis to Ethiopia and from Ethiopia to the Ben Gurion Airport in Israel. I also, purchased a stay for 4 weeks at the Kapitol Hotel on the Palestinian Quarter. I had no intentions to return to the US at the time. Before I knew it, November 2012 came around and I packed my bags and left Indianapolis to Ethiopia on November 14, 2012. I made it to Axum, Ethiopia safely without any incidents. I had a great time in Axum, Ethiopia. I spent a total of 4 days there. I wasn’t leaving without seeing God’s Footstool the Ark of the Covenant. My tour guides couldn’t promise me that I would see the Ark of the Covenant, because that is their most Holiest Object and it resided in the Church of St. Mary in Axum, Ethiopia. I got lucky on that trip because my tour guides father is a monk. He made me a promise that if I saw all the sites that there were to see in Ethiopia then I will be allowed to walk with the Holy Ark during their festival where Ethiopians walk with the Ark of the Covenant around Axum. He told me just give him 4 days. I agreed and he made good on his promise. During those 4 days I got to see the burial places of all the kings of Ethiopia and I got to sit on Queen Sheba’s stone throne. My guide took me to Yeha where he had a surprise for me. In Yeha, I climbed up their holiest mountain with the help of the monks and holy men on top of that mountain. I almost lost my life climbing that mountain because right beside me a monk was hoisting up the Ark of the Covenant. I tried to touch the Ark of the Covenant. Little that I know below the mountain a soldier was about to shoot me dead, because only the Guardian of the Ark of the Covenant was allowed to touch the holy ark. I almost fell to my death trying to touch the Holy Ark. I lost my grip and footing at the top of the holy mountain and fell half way down until the monks caught the rope. They let go of the rope because I tried to touch something I was unworthy to touch. When I finally reached the top of the holy mountain I was severely chastised by the Head Monk in charge there. My guide came to my rescue and explained to the Holy Man that I was sick and I wanted the Ark to heal me. The Monk’s anger subsided and he felt sorry for me. He blessed me on that mountain and told me I must be on my way and he sent a monk down with me to explain to the heavily armed soldier not to execute me because I am mentally ill trying to be healed. On the 4th and final day in Ethiopia, my guide woke me up at 4:00am dressed me in his father’s clothing to look like an Ethiopian Holy Man so that I can walk with the Ark of the Covenant throughout Axum, Ethiopia. It was worth the wait I got to walk with the Ark of the Covenant. One of the greatest’s moments of my life; I got to walk with God. I left Ethiopia on December 20, 2012 and arrived that day to the Ben Gurion Airport in Israel. I traveled with Ethiopian Jews on pilgrimage to the Holy Land. On arrival to the Ben Gurion Airport, terrorists stopped firing rockets from Gaza so that our flight can land safely. I still don’t understand why rockets were being fired in the first place. All I know is that God was protecting me on my travels. Our flight landed safely without any incidents from me. Upon landing, I was greeted by Airport Police. I was interviewed for an hour. They wanted to know why I didn’t purchase a ticket back to the United States. I told them the partial truth why I came there. I explained to them that I was on a permanent quest to experience God in the Holiest Place in the World and that place is Jerusalem the Old City. The Airport Police granted my request only because I reserved 4 weeks at the Kapitol Hotel in the Palestinian Quarter of the Old City. Here is another interesting fact: Jerusalem is divided into 4 quarters. 1 Jewish Quarter 2 Christian Quarter 3 Palestinian Quarter 4 Armenian Quarter The Airport Police notified local authorities in Jerusalem that if I caused any problems what so ever not to hesitate to send me to one of their local mental institutions. I promised them I am not here to cause problems with anyone. The cab ride from the airport to the old City was an interesting one. The cab driver was the Kapitol Hotel manager and he fought in the 6 Day’s War way back when. He decided to take me on the scenic route to the Old City. We stopped by the Tomb of the Maccabee’s where Judah of Maccabee his forefather is buried and the place where he would like to be buried one day. I never asked him for his name but he allowed me to call him Mr. Maccabee the surname of his forefathers. He knew why I came to Israel because the Airport Police kindly informed him of my presence there. I promised Mr. Maccabee that I am not here to cause any problems and that I was here to experience God. He told me that I wouldn’t experience anything because all the holy sites are closed to tourists because of 2012 End of Days idiots are causing trouble and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will not tolerate such behavior. I told him I am determined to experience God in the Holiest place in the world the Old City Jerusalem Temple Mount. The partial truth, the whole truth I left out because I was afraid of what he might think of me if I told him that I was one of those 2012 End of Days Idiots. After what seemed like an hour drive we made it safely without any incidents from me to the hotel. I fell asleep as soon as I was given a room. I rested well because I was about to embark on a great quest to seek out God on the Temple Mount. I woke up the following afternoon. I missed breakfast but was on time for lunch. Mr. Maccabee told me where to sit so I can get something to eat while I planned out my trip. After lunch, I tried to get a cab driver to take me to the Tomb of the Patriarchs. The clerk at the hotel told me no cab driver is crazy enough to drive me there. I asked the clerk if there is anyone who can take me to The Western Wall or Wailing Wall. The clerk told me all sites are closed even the sites revered by Christian’s places like, the River Jordan and the Tomb of Jesus. Mr. Maccabee came out of his office and told me that he was taking tourists back to the airport and that he can take me also. He asked me how much money I had left and I was truthful about it. I told him I had only $900 dollars left and I will get paid again in two weeks. He informed me that I don’t have enough to stay in Jerusalem even though I am paid up for 4 weeks at the hotel. I told him I will try to have my family wire me $1,000 dollars to stay there until I get what I came there to do and that was to experience God. He called a cab driver to take me to the Old Embassy where I can call my family back home for some money. The cab driver couldn’t take me to any of the Holy Sites especially the Temple Mount because I am not a Muslim. Only Muslims are allowed to pray at the Temple Mount. He was nice enough to get me as close to the Mount of Olives as he was allowed by local police. We stayed long enough to pray on the side of the road overseeing the Mount of Olives. He dropped me off at the Old Embassy in Jerusalem. I called my mother and told her the situation I gotten myself into. She told me I was nuts for asking her for money. She was right; I was crazy to ask her for money especially for $1,000 dollars a crazy amount of money. She told me to do whatever I had to do to come back home. I told her I couldn’t because I only had $900 dollars in my account and my credit card is maxed out. She didn’t want to hear any excuses. My mom and dad thought I would get mixed up with religious fanatics that would ultimately get me killed. I told her God will find a way to get me home. Cab driver waited for me at the Embassy. At this point I was in tears. I failed once again. Cab driver assured me that I didn’t fail and it was God’s Will his Divine Plan to protect me even from myself. I arrived safely at the hotel and thanked that wonderful man for his prayers and kind words of encouragement. I told Mr. Maccabee what transpired and he promised me to take me back to the airport. He felt sad that I couldn’t experience all the Holy Land has to offer. He told me one day you’ll be back and that I should book my trip with a religious group for my safety. The next morning Mr. Maccabee drove me back to the Ben Gurion Airport. The airport police were less than thrilled to see me so soon. They again interviewed me for an hour and I told them the whole truth. They do not like the lies I told them when I arrived there a day and a half ago. They asked me how much money I have and I told them I only have less than $900 dollars and a maxed out credit card. They wished me luck on buying a ticket to Indianapolis for only $900 dollars. I told the police God will find a way. I was laughed at. I used my maxed out credit card to purchase a ticket to Indianapolis and it went through. God found a way. Navy Federal increased my limit to cover the cost for a one way ticket back to Indianapolis, Indiana. The flight to Indianapolis was a terrible experience because I acted up on the flight. I was lucky there were no flight Marshalls on that trip because I was about to be arrested. The flight attendants try to convince the pilots that I was a terrorist. I got to talk to the pilots and they just said to the attendants that I was just a very disturbed veteran of the Armed Forces. The pilots told me to take a seat and relax for the rest of the flight. God was truly protecting me on that flight. On landing the attendants tried to have me arrested by the Indianapolis Airport Police. The police had a nice chat with the pilots and I was free to go. The cab ride back to my apartment was not a nice experience. It was cold and snowing outside. This was November 21, 2012 way too early for snow. I arrived at my apartment only to be greeted by local police. The flight attendant was hell bent on sending me to jail. The police yelled at me and told me to go to the VA Hospital the very next morning. I told them I will do just that and I did. I stood up all that night thanking God for bringing me back to Indianapolis safely without being arrested. The next morning checked my bank account statement online to find out the cab company cleaned out my back account roughly $800 dollars. I called the bank and the bank clerks told me it would take another week to retrieve those funds. I told the bank clerk that I had enough to get me by for a week. I lied to them because I didn’t. So, I headed out the door to check myself back to the VA Hospital only to be greeted by a police officer who personally escorted me there. The psychiatrist at the Roudebush VA Hospital was glad to see me alive and well. I was again a broken man at this point. I had no money, no food and my rent was overdue. I checked myself into the mental health ward because I tried cutting my wrists. I was a complete failure. I was in the mental health ward until my parents arrived all the way from Shanksville, Pennsylvania to pick me up and to go back to Shanksville with them. This time I listened to every suggestion the doctors gave to me. I was put on psychiatric medications. I still wasn’t stable enough to leave but the doctors let me leave with my parents. I was home back in Shanksville Pennsylvania before Christmas. I lived with my parents for over a year. At home, I felt that I failed God and my family and still think that to this day. Doctors from the Altoona VA Medical Center agreed with the Schizoaffective Disorder diagnosis with Moderate Depression. I applied for an 80% Disability Rating from 60%. With this money I got myself out of debt and the doctors cleared me for employment. I couldn’t find a job as a Robotics Technician. I couldn’t find work period. I manage to land a part time summer job at the school I graduated from Shanksville Stonycreek School as a janitor. This job was only for 3 months but it lifted my spirits a bit. I felt I had purpose once again. After completing the job I was again unemployed and my mental health took a turn for the worst. It took me years to get over the End of Day delusions I was experiencing. My family life took a turn for the worst. I felt that I was a heavy burden on my family. I ended up moving out of my parent’s house and lived with my younger sister Nikki. I live with my little sister for several months until she kicked me out for using marijuana and for being a drunk. I stopped taking meds because I believed that marijuana was better than any medications the VA ever offered me. I was wrong again. I used marijuana and alcohol in order to achieve a euphoric effect to experience the Creator only to end up experiencing the Devil. I ended up forsaking God for 8 long years. I strongly feel when I pick up a drug or a strong drink that I am saying no to God and yes to the Devil. In those 8 years I traveled from the Altoona VAMC to Philadelphia VAMC to Pittsburgh VAMC and back to the Philadelphia VAMC. It was in Philadelphia that I felt I can start over. In 2018 I was happily engaged but I was still doing drugs and abusing alcohol. I started out smoking marijuana and ended up using crack and other illicit street drugs. At this time I was 4 years off prescribed medications. My health started to deteriorate. I listened to no one and reported to no one except me. I was too busy anyway doctoring myself. My fiancé had enough of my drinking and drugging. She told me to leave and don’t come back until your clean and on medicine. I left her in 2018 and I took a Greyhound Bus to West Virginia to go to the Morgantown VAMC. I never made it to Morgantown, WV. I made it to Wheeling, WV where I was using crack and getting drunk. A friend helps fund me to go back to Somerset County Pennsylvania where home was and always will be for me. I ended up taking a Greyhound Bus to Somerset, Pa where I was coming down from a high the day before. I found myself staying at a local motel until my credit card maxed out again. I had to leave the motel and I try to walk to my grandmother’s house in Stoystown, Pennsylvania. I made it half way there until a man pulled over and offered me a ride to my grandmother’s house. He dropped me off in the drive way of my grandmother’s house, thanked me for my service in the military and wished me all the best. My grandmother welcomed me and cooked me a meal since I haven’t eaten anything for days and it showed. I told her the truth. I became an addict and a drunk and I was still high off crack cocaine. She told me she knows because I look like a walking corpse. I was dying on the inside. I have abandoned the Creator and I failed my family. My grandmother called my mom and she stopped by after work and she and my aunt Michelle drove me to Somerset Hospital because I was suicidal. I was interviewed by the doctors and the doctors and I felt it would be best if they transported me to the Pittsburgh VAMC. I arrived to the Pittsburgh VAMC within the hour in an ambulance. Once checked in I was transported from the ER to the mental health ward. I was in the mental health ward for a month until I was stable enough to attend a PRRTP program at The Heinz III Division in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It took me 7 months to detox off the drugs and alcohol and to be mentally stable on new psychiatric medications. I felt that 7 months in Pittsburgh was enough and I returned to New Jersey to be with my fiancée. I left Pittsburgh and may my way to New Jersey without any incidents on my part. Samantha was happy to see me better than what I was when I left. I then checked into the Philadelphia VAMC in 2019 to continue receiving mental health care. It’s been 3 or 4 years since I have been back to the Philadelphia VAMC. This time I am back for good no more running away from my problems. This time I am a better man than what I was in 2015-2016. My life seemed to be going well until Covid broke out early in the year 2020. I got Covid twice within 3 years. I was treated and I slowly recovered. Within 3 years I again spent all the money I have saved up helping Samantha’s sister with all her addictions. Shopping addiction being her biggest addiction. She took all I had which was $30,000. Nine months ago I was diagnosed with gastrointestinal problems. Samantha’s sister took me to the Philadelphia VAMC ER several times when I couldn’t stop throwing up. On the last time, she again left me with nothing except the clothes on my back. No wallet, Identification, no money, and no credit cards. She didn’t want me to contact her or her sister ever again and I haven’t. I was heartbroken. I felt this was payback for all these years I was on drugs. I feel everyone had enough of my shenanigans even God. This was 9 months ago. I was taken from the ER to the mental health ward and I spent over a month catching up on taking my psychiatric medications. While in the hospital, I rekindled my relationship with God. Ever since I stopped drinking and drugging and started pursing wisdom. My life is slowly coming back together. God has blessed me once again. I started to regain my sanity back while at 7 East at the Philadelphia VAMC. I made a promise to God that I will never go back to the mental health ward. That’s enough no more hiding and no more running away from my problems. I will achieve this by taking my psychiatric medications continually. I almost forgot, No more being homeless. In 7 East, I received the best healthcare and I owe the doctors and staff and all of the chaplains at the Philadelphia VAMC a huge debt of gratitude. Each and every one of them saved my life. All the chaplains of Heroes Chapel at the Philadelphia VAMC never forgot about me. In the past I let everyone down but never again will that happen. That’s a promise. As I grew spiritually my mental and physical health changed drastically. In the month when I was at 7 East the chaplains taught me how not to fear God but to Revere Him. I decided to do just that. I decided to seek wisdom and Revere God. It has taken me a lot longer surrendering to God than it has taken me to Revere Him. I had a few ups and downs on 7 East especially when I was forced to leave Samantha after 6 years of being engaged to her. Depression hit me hard and through lots of prayer and repentance God came to my rescue and filled my empty heart with love. God never stopped blessing me ever since I decided to stop drinking and drugging and started to seek Him out once more. God presented me with a once in a life time opportunity. I got 2 interviews both to attend an RRTP program in South Philadelphia Snyder House. This is where I am right now writing my story. I have been a resident of Snyder House for 8 months now. Like the Prophet Job, God has given me more than what the Accuser (Satan) aka drugs and alcohol has taken from me. I got my identification back, money in the bank, a roof over my head, and 3 great meals a day here at Snyder House. I get to attend classes that will help me be a better person once I leave Snyder House. I really enjoy attending Alumni Night where graduates of Snyder House talks about how being here changed their lives for the better. I have met nearly every treatment goal since I started here. Except one, to be an inspiration to other veterans at the Snyder House. Being inspired drives me to be a better person today than what I was the day before. I read my bible every day for inspiration. Also, I look up to the veterans and staff at Snyder House. They all accepted me when I had absolutely nothing. Each and every person I meet here has a story to share and each story inspires me to strive for great things in life. The residents and staff at Snyder House along with the doctors of the Philadelphia VAMC and the chaplains of Hero’s Chapel are my everyday heroes. I still seek wisdom and look up to God to help me gain just a little bit of wisdom every day. I actively seek God in even the most mundane things. I still feel ashamed of what I did to God in the past. For 8 years I sought the Accuser when I turned to illicit street drugs and alcohol. Never again will I forsake God. I wasted 8 years of my life. Now, I am looking forward in attending Aviation Maintenance School in a few weeks from now. I even make sure to call my mom on Sundays to keep her informed of my successes at Snyder House. God is Good Always. God is helping me right now rebuild my relationship with my family I’ve abandoned so many years ago. I now pray that my story somehow shines a light in the midst of darkness in someone life. I pray to continue to seek God in all things and to Revere Him to learn the very beginning of wisdom. Finally, I pray to live a long and productive life free from drugs and alcohol and to keep this love story alive for as long as I live. Written by Aaron J. Weyant Snyder House Resident