Plastic handguns designed to shoot infrared bullets.
No skills needed. Acquire the target, aim, press
trigger. Avoid accidental discharge.  

How remote? Enough range to tease neighbors. Shots 
fired through windows change TV channels, introduce 
families to anime, test patterns, subtitled movies.  

How much control? More like suggestions, really. 
Appliances seem to have their own agendas. Instructions
are routinely challenged, misinterpreted, ignored.

Let machines know who’s boss. You have a gun. In fact, 
you have many guns: one for each brand and purpose.  
Brandish them in holsters, belts, ordinance vests.  

Euthanize devices that defy your will. Unplug them until
circuits succumb to amnesia. Treat them like newborns  
upon revival. Provide guidance, secret codes, trust.

You are the master of their universe. Act like it.