Sitting in this chair wondering what...
Wandering from thought to thought,
Fighting to escape being caught
From the anguishing moments I fought.
Over and over I roll, forgetting naught,
Reliving the revivals of what I never sought.
Trapped and alone in a downward spiral
To a lost world of isolation gone viral,
Fading into the shadows of darkness
With little hope the chance to regain
By chains and locks intended to detain.
Grasping this rope reducing to a thread,
I hang by a nail falling off. I dread
The approaching nightfall of no sleep
With no chance of counting sheep.
Flooding memories invade my head,
Triggering anger automatically fed,
And suffering the loss of peace I once had.
Fearing nightmares, I dare not slumber,
Knowing the revisit that throws me under.
And oftentimes, coping skills fail and encumber,
Causing a mediocrity of recovery as I remember,
So I call the veterans suicide hotline to recover.