“The VA to Me”, I am Glad I am an American

By Boyd Burke



I understand in some way why my first letter to this system was not published, and I, in some ways, don’t expect it to ever be done so.  I know I wanted relief from the mental state that I was put under after I was born, being premature and being left behind in ways by my parents and always being victimized by them as well as some members of my family, and again in ways by the public at large when they were privie to what was being done to me.  In some feelings were never taken care of, or answered when I was young and I am still growing on some of the problems since then.  I have a very good therapist and two very helpful nurses. ( I take shots and pills.)  they aid me in my growth, as full as I can and the whole team I am under are darn good at what they are doing, to guide me at times when I start to falter.  In some areas I have found being under the VA for something is some helluva hand up instead of being passed to someone else to figure me out the feelings that were never dealt with while I was growing up.  It is like getting a second chance to be understood what I have put up with for most of my life.  And what I was able to accomplish for little or nothing in earned finances when used by people and business.



In some ways I have grown in a lot of ways since being helped by a great number of people in the VA.  I also like myself a lot more since I began going to the VA.



I try to write my feelings in ways to really give a damn in helping me grow, to interject the right attitude in what I am given to grow as whole in mind and what was passed to me as a send off to get lost because you’re not worth what I’m needing on an evaluation of what I can trust, one to care to consider what I needed.  I was held back verbally, mentally, physically.  I was considered a no count in a lot of ways by my family, especially by my dad.  ( I hate to mention him).  When you are full to the top of your limits, you need to find something you can enjoy by yourself.  In some ways I left the service to see if I needed the mental help and I have gotten more in some ways than I ever expected.



I don’t know all what my mother told the recruiter, but my dad stated to me that he told them to give me the dirty job and that was stated as I walked out his door.  The fact that my whole team is to grow whole as best they can, a change I did not understand before.

The fact when I go to the clinic in some ways “I am dropping in to see what condition my condition is in.”  I don’t know who sang the song, but I know the lyrics and they have always stuck with me.



If the system still has one of my Rx for this year and if not I will send the funds with this letter because it is helping me grow mentally.  I am not being put on the spot and people listen to me.



The magazine to me is a gathering of members that will express and fully know with some idea what’s going on on the inside and be able to understand.  The built up anger and frustration can be hard even harder as it was for me to know the proper way in my first letter to release or how to begin and that is where I was at from my private service help.



I still have a large amount of knowledge to understand where I have been and facing the future as the whole person that I’m trying to become.  I still don’t know if I am headed in the right direction an only the end will be a satisfying life or not.



Thank God for the chance to express!!!