When I Get to Heaven

Hey Lord!  It’s just me.  I have a few questions.

Does Heaven have a dress code?  You know I prefer comfy clothing.

I could wear my t-shirt that says “Angel” on the front!



How about when we arrive in Heaven?  Will that be “Judgement Day”?

Will it be a private meeting with you?  Or will everyone else be watching?

I will be so ashamed, even though I know you’ve forgiven me.

Will there be long lines to the Pearly Gates like the entrance to Disney World?

I’ll just slip a “Benjamin” to St. Peter and skip the line.  “Ain’t nobody got time for that”!

Is he a kind soul?  He probably gets short-tempered by the end of a long day.



Will our family members be holding up signs so we can find them?

I especially can’t wait to see my Mama again.  I’m sure she’s kept you busy!

I can’t wait to hear how she has tested your patience.

Do we get our wings right away?  Or do we have to wait ninety days?

Are they all the same?  Or a variety to choose from?

I’d like to have color changing fiber optics embedded in my wings.

I’ve always loved those wings on Christmas tree angels.



Oh, my goodness!  I almost forgot!  Will I get a halo?

Will it be a bent coat hanger like in our Christmas Pageants?  Or a “heavenly light”?

I would prefer the “light” version if that’s an option.  It’s bound to weigh less.

Ha Ha!  I made a funny.  I’m sure that made you chuckle!



Now let’s talk about my robe.  Does it have to be white?

As you know, I’m a hot mess and won’t be able to keep it clean.

Maybe a nice “stained glass” pattern would work.  Get it?  “Stained”?

I crack myself up sometimes.  Thanks again for giving me a sense of humor!

You, faith, and humor have helped me through life’s challenges.

Oh, but back to my robe!  I would also like the fabric to be “stretchy”.

You said you would “prepare a table before me”, and I want to be prepared!

I’ve been practicing at more buffets than I care to admit.



What about the housing situation?  Is there really going to be mansions?

Will mine be like a Victorian mansion or more like Downton Abbey?

I like both.  Either way, I’m going to need a housekeeping staff.

You know very well cleaning is not my strong suit.

I would hate for someone to stop by my forever home when it looks like a wreck!

Also, I’m hoping that all my pets will be there waiting inside.

I’ve missed them all so much, but I know they’ve been well cared for.



I’m hoping there will be Hershey’s milk chocolate in Heaven.

It’s okay to have a variety, but that is my favorite!

I also require Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

I usually buy 2% milk, however, I would love to have whole milk!

My favorite steak is a medium rare Ribeye.  Hint! Hint!

Freshly squeezed lemonade and McDonald’s Sweet Tea should also be available.



I am hoping that fat and calories will be banned.  They are evil!

They belong in Hell with Satan.  He deserves them!

While you’re at it, throw out the kale.  I’m not really a fan of tofu either.



Please have plenty of toilet paper!  It’s been on short supply down here.

Most people prefer Charmin brand, but I’m guessing you’ll have Angel Soft.

I think that’s about it!  Wait!  One more thing…

Under no circumstances, will I be wearing a mask!

Nina Herron