So, you are in darkness?
Yeah, and I have thoughts.
What kind of thoughts?
Unnatural thoughts.
I don’t like being pushed.
What do you mean you don’t like being pushed; 
like someone shoving you? 
No, I don’t like my mind being pushed in certain directions.
If I am pushed too far and over the brink, then over, I cross.
To where?
Like I said, to the unnatural side.
What is it like?
It is like many people stabbing me with a long spear 
all over my body, piercing me in every piece of flesh.  
The only defense is to strike out at them.
And do you strike out?
Yes, in a fury of revenge, hate and then followed 
by guilt and regret.
I can’t find my way.
I miss me.
But I am still here.
I am not the same.
I know. I have seen and experienced things 
that have tarnished my soul.
I want the old you back.
That guy is gone.
He gently weeps.
I am trying but can’t find my way to the other shore.
I can help you paddle; we are in a tandem kayak.
“Yes, take the rudder position because I can’t quite yet.”