The Anger Within Me

By Karen Green



A pressure cooker

is how I sometimes feel,

when people tell me

that my past is no big deal.



I’ve been told

to forgive and forget and to get on with my life,

but this

only adds to the strife.



People say,

“It happened so long ago,

you’d be better off

if you’d just let it go.”



People say,

“You’re feeling sorry for yourself”, or “snap out of it.”

They don’t understand

why sometimes I just want to quit.



When I was growing up

with the bad turns I was dealt,

I was not allowed then

to express how I felt.



I know it’s not healthy

to hold this anger inside,

but I’ve got years of experience

of making my feelings hide.



Sometimes

my chest feels like it’s about to explode,

because I carry

such a heavy load.



Sometimes

when the anxiety seems to be taking its toll,

I’m afraid if I express my anger

I’ll lose control.





So I stay quiet

I don’t shout,

I hold it all in

I don’t let it out.



The anger I feel now

I keep stuffing backdown,

and I get depressed

and have flashbacks and hear voices all around.



I am so angry

at the people who did these things to me,

but I stuff those feelings

so nobody can see.



I wish I knew a way

I could tell them how angry I feel,

and maybe then

I’d begin to heal.