When I was inducted into the U.S. Navy, I raised my right hand and swore to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” As a young 18 year old, the true meaning of that oath did not influence my moral compass until many years later. A prison sentence, the “thank you” from a beautiful person and maturity set me on the path to advocate the “right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” for all people.

The social structure of a prison yard is comparable to high school cliques. People will form groups based on race, sexuality, area code, religion or gang affiliation. I knew a lot of people in the prison but identified mostly with a group of combat veterans. I never initiated conversations with people I did not know and mostly kept to myself. However, an afternoon walk on the track prompted me to take an internal review of exactly what I was defending during my military service.

Fancy identified as a gay male and a professional female impersonator. He was popular in his home city and was a hit at the drag queen shows. Standing at six feet tall with a slender frame, neatly trimmed brown hair, perfect skin and model-like facial features, I could envision Fancy as an attractive female. Since I knew other veterans who identified with the LGBTQ community in the prison, I was called over to a small group of inmates, and there I met Fancy.

Tony, a veteran, was asking me about some benefits when Fancy turned toward me, looked me in the eye and asked if I had served in the military. I replied, “Yes, I served for 14 years.” Fancy stuck out his right hand and said, “I want to thank you for your service.” I was caught off guard with this show of appreciation. I mean seriously, no other inmate had ever thanked me for my service. I was confused, so I asked, “Why are you thanking me?” as I stuck out my hand to accept his gratitude. After the heart-warming handshake, Fancy used both of his hands to outline his face that had hints of make-up and continued the gesture down the rest of his body until he ended in a curtsy, saying, “Because I can be this.”

At that very moment in time everything in my life was on pause. I remembered the oppressive societies that I had witnessed in the other parts of the world, places where gay, transgender or even men with a nonconforming hair style were ridiculed, chastised or even stoned to death for violating a religious law. I looked deep into my values as a soldier and a veteran. The first one of my peers to thank me for my service in seven years of my incarceration was someone different from myself. It dawned on me at that moment that I swore to defend ALL people’s rights—even those whose lifestyle I knew nothing about. A new door in my life was opened to a group of people whom I had overlooked in the past, and now I wanted to embrace them. I wanted to learn how I could better assist in their struggles.

I will never forget the gift that Fancy gave me that summer afternoon in the prison yard. That gift is respect, understanding, but most important—love. While the germinal seed that Fancy planted in my soul continues to grow, I have made some awesome new friends along the way. The main message for all active duty military, reserves, National Guard and veterans is to remember the oath of enlistment and what we stand for as a people.