Depression Check-In



I get asked the question

Time to rate your depression

Is this a feeling I am feeling from feelings

Or should I simply answer with an expression



Hey doctor, are you going to take a minute to listen

If I start to explain myself without an empty objection

Am I strong enough today to testify

Or to give a good enough reason why



First let me try to explain my case

I am here mingling in the first place

To learn about myself and why my mental health is at stake

Do you know the fight it took to leave my safe space



The day-to-day patrols of Iraq I play over in my head

That leads to the feelings of guilt and shame before bed

That turns into nightmares and reliving of death and threats

The puddles of blood turned to sweat that is then shed



I get awakened by my wife’s lovely touch

Reminding me, dear dreamer, you’re home it’s a bad one

Go back to sleep, it’s okay, I promise

She’s not intentionally being dishonest



I awake in the afternoon totally tired and unfocused

Carpe Diem, yeah, not happening

As the weight from the blanket shifts to my shoulders

I can already feel the burden begin to linger and smolder



But I’m here, hooray, I’ve made it too today

Small miracles even amaze the masses

I cannot say the same for my brother

As suicide took him to meet our maker



So, doctor, I will answer your question

I will say my depression today is perhaps, maybe, possibly low

If I would have to rate my depression from past deployments, my suffrage, my journey

Now that is altogether a different story.