Pardon me for interrupting how you think a life should be.
As I’m headed down this road in my head,
I pass along all the familiarity that’s collected there.
It’s a dark and gloomy path but one I know,
Made by acts of others who like me are broken.
I stroll through isolation, guilt, depression, anger and fear.
Into a deeper darker hole, I go.
I’m strangely comforted by the voices I hear.
It’s a place of freedom I know most won’t understand.
But I can be just me, not who you want or think I should be.
I tried to fit in but it’s killing me.
The racing thoughts don’t separate before my eyes.
Push! Push! Push and brainwash me to your side.
Then take away what I have come to love most.
I’m just a pawn,
Cut off and swallowed whole by your rules.
I’ve stood still in the tears I have cried.
To live or to die? The answer is who is asking and why.
I try not to make you ill; why do you want to make me well?
Have you not been listening? Have you not been watching?
For now, I beat myself more.
I’ve tried to please, fallen to my knees,
Finding an emotional release,
An inner peace, knowing the comfort of being.
My Psychologically Chaotic Phenomena.