SPRING FORWARD



I relate to a moment of time in my life as Spring, springing forward, new beginnings, new life, flowers blooming, animals coming out of hibernation.  I was recently divorced, after 25 years together, my little boys are now grown men and off living their own lives, I just retired, and for the first time ever, I was alone.  No family or friends nearby, alone and lonely.  There was a long period of deep depression, darkness, hopelessness.  Who am I?  What is my purpose? What did I want?  What did I like or not like?  I’ve never had to think about these questions before because I was always what other people needed or wanted me to be.  Mother, wife, airman in the military, co-worker, supervisor, I was never just Rhonda.  Now that I was just “Rhonda”, I had no clue who she was, nor did I know how to find out.  But, just like Spring, when I started therapy, I stared to Spring forward, I started to blossom, to live, to come out of hibernation.  I was making friends, I was traveling, I was getting to know Rhonda, testing the waters to see what she liked an didn’t like.  At the age of 60, I did things I have never done and never thought I ever would. I went hiking 14,000 feet up a mountain in Colorado, camping in the wilderness, witnessed how powerful nature can be during a storm, canoeing in the challenging waters in the Florida everglades, bungie jumping, jumping from a 70 ft pole having faith that the people below would catch me if I fell, connecting with the most beautiful horses, becoming one with them, so calming and peaceful.  I had finally found Rhonda, she is kind, loving, generous, funny, caring, has so much empathy for others, because she knows pain and hurt.  She includes others so they don’t feel alone.  She is brave, she is strong, she is enough, she is worthy of all good things, she is RHONDA!  It’s been a blessing to get to know her.

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