You never saw me step off the bus.
First thing I felt was the searing heat,
Heard shouts of, “Get in line,” so I stood in front,
My slow weary feet planted in concrete.
I wanted to melt and sink right away,
But I remained in place and present.
“Pick ‘em up” and “Put ‘em down” commands
Rained down and quickly made it evident
You were in charge, every spit and spittle
Infused anger to remind there is no mother
Nor any shield for screams that grew louder,
While steel-toe taps drew close to others.
Dusk ushered troop dismissal, epic relief to most.
Forever in shadows, time crept slowly each hour.
Patience and hope joined the company of ghosts.
More yelling and shouting, then pushing and shoving.
My invisibility worn away, the pain was very real.
Smokey Bear hat pressed on my forehead, no ducking.
I asked why I was different, but I got, “No talking back, Boy.”
Sleepless, unmoored with a constant feeling of dread,
My face met your fist. Hidden blows tasted bitter though
Fear was not mine to harbor,
But you must have had yours the entire time.
I disappeared into myself to mask everything.
Graduation finally arrives after completion
Of training and chores.
Marched heel to toe with guidon, but you’re still eyeballin’ me.
Parade time final pass and review, an earned strut in the sun.
Mission accomplished!
Kept my eye on the prize, but you never saw me.