In the summer of ’82, I was stationed at Aberdeen Proving Ground as an infantry instructor in the Combined Arms division. One evening I was stopped on post for speeding. Yes, I was guilty.

For some bureaucratic reasons, arrangements were made to allow a local magistrate to hold traffic court on post. Since all traffic violations came under civilian jurisdiction, I guess it made sense.

Rumor had it that if you appeared in front of the judge, there was a chance you could have your fine thrown out or reduced. I always listen to rumor control.

On the day I was to appear, I was in the field teaching patrolling techniques to brand new ordinance second lieutenants. My major gave me permission to make my court date and wished me luck with a rather sarcastic grin on his face.

I showed up in jungle fatigues with a pistol belt, survival knife and full camo face paint. I looked like I just stepped out of a recruiting poster.

My plan was that by playing to his strong sense of patriotism, the magistrate would throw out my case all together.

Finally, they called my name. I stood tall and erect and proud before the judge. Then he looked me in the eye, which meant to me that my face paint needed work.

He asked me why I chose to come before him as I did. I explained that I was teaching new officers to lead their troops in combat. I laid it on thick. He thanked me for my service to our country, and at this point I thought I had him.

He then looked past me and asked everyone in the large room if they ever watched “The Incredible Hulk” on TV? It was a popular show, so everyone, including some kids. raised their hands.

He looked at me, and for the first time all day he smiled. Then with a loud judgmental voice he said, “Watch the Incredible Hulk pay a $30 fine.”

Even I had to laugh along with everyone else. The magistrate saved the integrity of the court; I saved $20.00 and saved face, even if it was green.