Childhood longings. To belong. To be loved.
Betrayed by a father figure.
I had looked upon him as one from the beginning.
Instead he was a predator and I was the prey.
He used me and my need to be loved.
He used my need to be loved as a weapon against me.
The attention he showed me, I thought was because he cared.
It was meant to disarm me,
to lull me into a feeling of security.
That left one day in violence.
The sexual assault that followed wounded my whole being.
I was in pieces. Pieces that had to be put back together or 
I could not function as a normal human being.
A million pieces. How to begin to fit them back together 
    in a cohesive way?
To provide cohesion meant to pardon my attacker. 
That did not mean that I was giving approval for what 
    he had done.
As long as I could not pardon him, I stayed a casualty.
A casualty identity for the rest of my life. 
I could not live in that mentality. 
When I gave the pardon to my attacker, the identity was 
   reversed.
He no longer had dominance over me. I now had the power.
The power to live and enjoy my life to the fullest.
I am in charge of my life.
I am more than a survivor.
I am a Champion.