A Shimmer Of HOPE

 

It feels as though I'm losing this battle.

I'm not looking forward to listening to any more psychobabble.

I am so close to just giving up.

Yes, indeed, running over - is my cup.

 

You may ask then why am I'm writing this?

Sounds like I'm already in my final abyss.

But there is something else down deep.

Something that has held on, something I can keep.

 

It's a shimmer of HOPE.

That I will be able to continue to cope.

And as long as I can keep this feeling.

It will overcome what I am currently dealing.

 

At least that is what I'm saying to myself.

Could it be from a word form you or a VA elf?

I do feel like I've used my last lifeline.

But yet here I am still trying to climb.

 

 

From this dark, lonely, and fatal place.

Somewhere, & somehow, I need to leave it apace!

But still, I must understand and learn.

Because there is a reason for me to be concerned.

 

I have thought of all my ways to end my life.

But I just can't give up, not during this fight!

I must continue going forward.

I'm being honest and straightforward.

 

This is so unlike me.

The thought of suicide won't let me be.

It would be so easy to pick up the bottle.

Not to care, letting go of everything - full throttle.

 

But that shimmer of HOPE comes to surface again.

It so desperately wants to be my friend.

She hasn't steered me wrong as of yet.

Not once since she and I met.

 

Can I believe her this time?

When in my deepest, darkest grime?

I know that I need help.

It's just hard doing it by myself.

 

I have reached out for help, yes, I did.

And I still am - I can't fib.

Is it as urgent as it was?

I'm still here, and mostly because.

 

That shimmer of HOPE.

It is keeping my life afloat.

I can't give up - not this time.

Because within me I still find.

 

A willingness to save a life, this time my own.

And keeping this feeling within my grasp and atone.

And with your help and kindness, I can never be alone.

And with grace - on this earth I will continue to roam.