Iam still standing , she is still standing
By Penny Deere, Army, Woman’s Army Corps
Writing Type: Prose, Photograph, Art/3d
By Penny Deere
She is still standing, though she has so many wounds-- damage that just cannot be seen with the naked eye. It’s all so complex: her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There are the multiple personal traumas, the combat related trauma and then there is the military sexual trauma.
She has endured several types of abuse: mental, emotional, physical, sexual and child abuse which left deep scars within. She has suffered the loss of failed marriages. She grieves for her son who died in a horrible accident that she envisions over and over in her mind. Her losses to herself and those she loves are many; illness from toxins and other unknown sources ravage her body: cancers, streptococcus bacteria, septic bodies and near-death experiences.
Her body has failed her. It has turned against her with all her physical issues as well as the mental illness and lapses that plaque her.
She tried coping by using alcohol but misused it; she made bad choices in her relationships with partners. She acted out with bad temperament and became severely co-dependent, enabling more mistreatment. She has faced repeated, potentially lethal blows and has been knocked down, knocked down hard.
But… she is still standing!
Because she now has a firm foundation. She had to reach the very bottom but knew she wanted to climb up and out. So she dug deep and found herself. She found help mentally, physically and spiritually from many different people and places. She started over and is not looking back.
She stays positive. She is helpful to others. She gives back. She sustains gratefulness. She is an activist. She is constructive, not destructive. She is strong willed and spirited. She is a force to deal with. She is tough. She has ambition (or she is ambitious). She is resourceful. She is resilient and committed. She is determined. She refuses to be stagnant. She is durable. She is secure and independent. She is incredibly creative. She is versatile and willing to work toward a greater good. She tries to remain mindful and to be thankful for what she does have. She tries to be in the here-and-now and not dwell elsewhere.
She has built a firm foundation, and she is still standing.
I am still standing
Notes: I submitted these word separate as well but could be combined with 3D art see attached here