Back when he was lying there ""cutting Zs,''
He thought I was lying there scratching fleas.
But Cronkite was telling me about Vietnam every night,
And Eric Sevareid had even n1ore insight.
The main thing 1 found out was dogs wouldn't be drafted,
But my poor ole master was about to be shafted.
And the 1nore they'd want the big dummy, the louder he'd snore!
The last thing on his mind was going off to war.
But I was proud of him when he went off to help keep us free.
He kissed his girlfriend good-bye and said, ""Keep an eye on him.""
'Cause when it came to brains, he said I'd never had a lick,
And said I wouldn;t know it myself if I ever got sick.
While he was gone I'd hear her crying a Jot,
So I'd say an extra prayer that he wouldn't be shot.
And I'd listen with her to the tapes he sent in the mail,
And he'd say, ""Hello Little Dummy! Stop chasing your tail.""
His tapes kept telling her he was doing just fine,
But I knew better 'cause 1 could read between the lines.
He said LBJ and the draft board were all as dumb as ME!
And from the strain in his voice, I detected battle fatigue.
The first thing he said to me when he got back home
Was ""Hello, Little Dummy! Bet you never knew I was gone.""
Old Big Dummy was in pretty good shape when he got back.
Now he's back ''cutting Zs'' and Rather's telling me about Iraq.